Une Nuit Bizarre! (A strange night)

Last night I slept in a monastery on top of a mountain.

Curious? Read on.

Rob and Leah have their birthdays on consecutive days, so to celebrate, a group of about 10 of us decided to walk up to the top of the tallest mountain in Aix, St. Victoire, and spend the night up there in the cabin.

1. The Climb

The mountain didn't exactly LOOK that high. And apparently, it only took '1 and a half hours max' to get to the top. And you certainly couldn't see all the slippery rocks from the bottom...

Bern, the big crazy German guy, is an absolute lifesaver. Since my old backpack broke, the only option I had for carrying my blanket up the mountain was an airport bag - not for dragging, but for carrying like a suitcase. Bern took me aside and told me that it 'wasn't exactly practical to carry a suitcase up a mountain', and found me a huge backpack in his own store to use. Thank god for that; I would have probably jumped off the mountain in frustration if I had to carry that thing all the way up.

We had a problem from the start; due to the lack of clarity where the bus was going to stop, half the group went to another location to wait; the bus came to us and not to them so we ended up leaving without them. They would have to catch the bus an hour later, and climb the mountain when it got dark...

So Bern, Rob, Emily, Leah, Kalla and myself headed up the mountain. Bern, who has done the climb about 4 times, took us on a 'contraband route', which although more direct, was a lot more difficult. I was exhausted just walking on the dirt path; we hadn't even set foot on the mountain yet...

It was a truly tiring walk, even more so because I was listening to Leah complaining the whole way up :). Although she did have every right to complain, it was her birthday and she was spending it in climbing a mountain. I shared her sentiment, even if I was less vocal about it. It took us about 3.5 hours of uphill climbing before we reached the summit. Particularly annoying was the fact that there was a number of false summits on the mountain, so we kept thinking we were almost there, only to have our hopes dashed against the rocks. Furthermore, it was a very rough track; lots of massive rocks which we had to climb on and jump over. The only thing indicating that civilisation had come here was the fact that an occasional blue line was marked on a rock, showing the 'easiest' path.

However on the way up, there was a gorgeous view. We could see the Alps in the distance in one direction, Marseille in the distance in another direction. It was a cloudless day, and we could see nearly all of Provence.

2. The Monastery

We reached the top totally exhausted, but proud to have finally done it. The Monastery looked like something from the 15th Century, indeed it was, except it had been rebuilt by a team of volunteers. There was a chapel, a large pit, a random lodge attached to the chapel, and a large shelter. The shelter was virtually empty, except for a pile of wood, some benches and a fireplace. The fireplace had a strange design at the back, a stone tablet with medieval engravings on it. Looked like some sort of royal seal.

Everyone had brought up a surplus of food, so we began eating right away and trying to light the fire. Of those two skills, eating is the only one I have actually mastered, so I concentrated on that job while the others lit the fire.

The plan was to cook things over the fire - there was some meat brought up, as well as potatoes and foil.

Le debut d'un manifesto (The Beginnings of a Manifesto)

1. Political Troubles in Aix-en-Provence

There has been increased political trouble recently here in Aix-en-Provence. The government is introducing a bill call the CPE; because workers are so highly protected in France, French businesses are reluctant to take on new employees, especially when they are young, because it is hard to get rid of them later. This bill means that first-time workers can be fired without reason within 2 years of getting the job. All the students in Aix went on strike today, and the doors of every school was blockaded by protestors, meaning nobody could get in. All the schools except mine, that is.

It is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, it is an example of globalisation in action. Quasi-socialist France is trying to soften itself up so the captains of industry don't flee to other countries...and naturally, people are very resistant. As said, I am studying globalisation and government deregulation now, so it gives it a nice 'real-world' feeling which is often rare in academic work.

Second, it's interesting because the students here are a lot more passionate about political causes than Australia. Most people in Aus. really don't seem to care about anything, by comparison. I have heard that John Howard is looking into making voting voluntary - doing so would secure liberal victories forever, because I really doubt whether anyone except the right-wing extremists would bother to vote. In fact, I think John Howard is the result of what we might call 'a dictatorship by apathy'. People don't really care what he does, so he pretty much gets away with anything.

2. A manifesto?

I have been thinking a lot recently about what I would want to achieve as MCP of AIESEC Australia...below are my thoughts. Feedback would be appreciated; this is only preliminary after all. The running theme of my ideas is LC independance - right now they are far too dependant on the MC, but I believe alot of the changes below will make them much stronger units on their own. It is a very, very HR focused manifesto, because I see our people management systems as the biggest stumbling block faced by the country right now. All the strong AIESEC countries have one thing in common - exceptional people management systems, and it is time that we got it going.

- Perfection of recruitment, induction and selection systems. I say perfection because the ones that have recently been released are pretty awesome and hit most of the basics; it is now just a case of fine-tuning each year with any feedback, and also a matter of ensuring its nation-wide implementation. People who know me know that I will continue to emphasise increased on-campus awareness, and will not stop until there is some mechanism which ensures that EVERY PERSON WHO ENTERS AN AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY WHICH HAS AN LC knows a large amount about AIESEC, because that is the only way we can 1) become first choice for activating leadership and 2) attract and retain top talent.

- Pushing Culture of Excellence further by creation of HR tracking framework, and training on how to utilise it. This has been absent for a LONG time. The LCs really need to know how they can keep track of their members effectively - this will bring an end to random floaters, by ensuring they 1) have a role description and 2) are fulfilling it.

- Training PD Directors/LCPs on conducting skills gap analyses and organising useful training for members, as a supplement to the above point.

- Beefing up other PD systems:
* 'LCM use' guide released, including sessions to be run during the year (not EVERY LCM, but a lot of them) to supplement conferences
* Release of an official R&R system to be used by LCs nationwide

- AIESEC XP implemention: want to focus on 'enforcement' of the XP passport which I know Mel will release this year. Members may not go to the next stage unless they have satisfactorily passed the previous one - this is especially important for exchange. Essentially, proof will be needed that SNs have 'taken responsibility' before they can go on the system.

- LC Structural Change: Want to see the creation of a new 'ideal' MDP to guide LCs, which would contain changes such as the following:
* Creation of new positions like PR and IS
* Abolition of OGX and integration of its functions into an HR portfolio, or another better solution to structurally enforce XP implementation
* Separation of PD and HR - the former does 'people development' in terms of education and learning, the latter manage inflows and outflows of the LC (including OGX)
* LC independence through a purely strategic EB
* Utilisation of LC Skopje structure for PBoX Management ( a matrix structure)

- Learning
* Stronger focus on 'tough' events, i.e. events which shock people and hit them emotionally by showing them the ugly side of the world, not simply having speakers come and talk at them
* Ressurection of the Learning Disc as part of PLP development
* Use of Global People guide in PLP development

- Continual PBoX implementation
* Training on PBoX development management for 1) OCs and 2) EBs (depending on their respective role)
* putting official criteria in the compendium for what is needed to start a PBoX
* international LN partnership development

- Continued VP empowerment
* VPs increasingly responsible for national strategies
* VPs to be running sessions at national conferences
* Possibility of making VPs full-time, and cutting number of LCDs in Sydney: an option to be seriously looked into, because the more people 'on the ground', the better

- SnA overhall
* More time spent with VPs/LCPs than with EB/members - empowerment of the former to assist the latter, rather than random time spread everywhere
* Look into necessity of having SnAs at all, scrap them if they are not useful
* Look into other methods of using SnA - miniature conferences, paying for VPs to come to Sydney for collective training, etc.

- Quality push: lots of conference sessions to be dedicated to educating on basic processes of exchange servicing for interns AND organisations. Also, much stronger focus on quality and measurement tracking from the MCP, and introduction of an exchange servicing award at conference.

- International Benchmarking. A nice way of saying 'competition' - we should choose a couple of countries that are performing a little better than us and are not overly different in socio-economic reality, and strive to beat their results.

- Regional Structure Review:
* Steering team to look into alternatives to current regional structures, and make recommendations on better structures
* Support for the creation of Regional Support Teams, including role description creation and coaching for VPs

- National Conference Sponsorship: Get the BDMs to find an organisation to sponsor a year's worth of conferences (what is called a 'conference sponsorship partner')

- BDMs: I would prefer to see them doing more sponsorship than they are currently doing - obviously do exchange, but focus a bit more on sponsorship.

- MC/NST Structure. I will keep Ralph's MC structure, with the only difference being changing the name 'VP PD' to 'VP People Systems'. This is to send a clear signal to the LCs that the MC structure suits the MC, and is not to be imitated on an LC level because it doesn't work.

VP X: Exchange-related admin work (insight, forms, etc.), measurement tracking
VP People Systems: All strategic development relating to HR systems and PD systems
VP LN: All strategic development relating to PBoXes and LNs
VP Fin: MC Finances, Legal Responsible
2 BDMs: Raising sponsorship and exchange to support MC Finances

The reason why I am not changing the structure is because I see next year as the year of 'empowerment' of non-MC bodies, and to shift the structure now would be premature. I have mentioned massive VP empowerment, however MC members will still need to be responsible for regions to facilitate the process of VP empowerment. I would hope the year after, the MCP could REALLY become the team leader for the VPs, and we could eliminate the confusing regional responsible link.

The other body I want to see MASSIVELY 'empowered' is the NST. They should be the complete source of all processes training in the country on a national level. This indicates a sharp divide between the strategic/administrative role of the MC on the one hand, and a coaching role on the other. While my goal would be to 'outsource' all LnM type coaching initially to the VPs and eventually to the EBs, the other type of coaching, basic portfolio skills training, should be 'outsourced' entirely to the NST. The ideal MC team would only have strategic and administrative roles, but no coaching role whatsoever (with the exception of the MCP).

Basically the 'help-line' for EB or members to call if they have a problem, also running entire skills tracks at national conferences (including NLT conferences), or writing the sessions to be delivered at state conferences. Initially the MC will need to help out the NST with skills track delivery, but eventually they would drop this role as the knowledge for session delivery becomes centred within the NST. The MC's contribution to conferences will be data analysis stuff, global developments, new strategies. They would only intervene in running skills sessions if there is something particularly new to teach, and the NST is not ready to deliver a session on that skill.

I realise that has been the goal of the NST up until now...it hasn't really worked I feel. The solution for me is making the position an exclusive one, i.e. NST members may not hold any other position at the same time. Given that it is about portfolio processes, the positions would be portfolio-based: ICX, HR, PD, Finance. The NST would expand its size and role over time, as new portfolios come into existence through our new MDP.

That's all for now, but of course, there will be more to come...

Beaucoup d'amusement (Lots of fun)

1. The Fair

I had a blast last night. Myself, Stef, Sophie (two UNSW people) , Abbey, Beth, Sebastian (3 UK people), Daria (an NZ person) and Martina (a Parisian) went to a random fairground at 9pm. It was particularly random because it only opened at 9pm, and even more random because it was next a giant cemetery. I don't know many fairgrounds that only open at 9pm and are situated next to cemeteries, but anyway...

I went on two rides when I was there; the first called 'The Boomerang' which was kind of like the Pirate Ship, but didn't have the same fixed axis like that ride. This one swung around much more violently and seemed to have a 3-Dimensional rotation axis, meaning it was a lot more fun. It didn't go upside down unfortunately, but it did swing to nearly 90 degrees off the ground, and we did feel those wonderful moments of weightlessness which make the whole experience worth it.

The second ride I went on was called 'Shaker Dance' or something silly like that, but it was by far the most terrifying, thrilling ride I have ever been on. It didn't look like much from the outside - it's not very big, was on only a slight slant, and had about 5 octopus like things on it. The octopus things had a metallic column in the centre, and emanating from this centre were 4 support beams, and at the end of each of these support beams was a cage where two people could sit. I thought the floor would rotate quickly and that would be the ride, but I was very wrong. Not only did the floor rotate extremely quickly, but the central column of each octopus spun us in the opposite direction to the floor spin at an even faster rate. Further, the support beams went up and down, and to top it all off, the cages spun 180 degrees at exceptionally fast rates. Basically, it was like entering a washing machine. While we were strapped in quite securely, our heads were not, and with all the twisting and turning my head was continually slammed from side to side and I thought my ears were going to bleed. There were wonderful moments in the ride when it felt like we were being hurled directly at the floor ( in fact we were, but it was our harnesses which stopped us from smashing our faces into the floor), and most of the ride was a giant blur because of the high speeds of everything turning.

As comparison, I have been on Lethal Weapon at Movie World, which is said to be one of the most frightening in the country - imagine going on a ski lift, upside down, at a massive height, at 100 km/h. That was nothing compared to the ride I went on in this random little French fair. Cheers to it being small and amazing.

2. Confidence

I seem to have rediscovered my confidence, having lost it in my last post. I know my contribution should be measured in drive, not particular ideas. I think I am starting to feel at home here in Aix. Another reason for this surge in confidence comes from the two courses I am taking in English right now on Globalisation - I am concentrating harder than I have ever concentrated, by virtue of the fact that it is in my native language. Absence makes the heart grow fonder - a cliché, but definitely a valid one.

The professors of these courses are interesting people, but one in particular, Professor John Rapley, deserves a bit of a description. A very confident, charismatic lecturer - born in Canada (and with a Canadian accent) but now lives in Jamaica. He reminds me of a history teacher I had in high school, Dr Gaunson - the whole lecture is basically a string of very interesting anecdotes. For example, he once told us about how he met with a local drug baron in Kingston, Jamaica, and the drug baron was complaining about IMF structural adjustment because now the government was too weak to give him financial support to do their dirty work. Extraordinary.

I have learnt a lot about Globalisation recently, and my opinion for now is that I am a fan of state intervention - particularly for poorer states. It is interesting to note that all the big winners in globalisation have been states who started off highly interventionist - the USA, Western Europe, India, China, Taiwan, Singapore...Etc. Countries that have done well out of globalisation but got massively knocked by financial crises are ones like South Korea, whose liberalisation was slower than is preached by the neoliberal crazies, but still haphazard and without proper controls. Countries that have done the worst out of globalisation are those that were not interventionist until they reached a reasonable level of wealth - Russia, African countries, many Latin American countries, etc. Mr Keynes had it right. And all this stuff about scaring away foreign companies by high barriers - well if you are trying to develop local industries, isn't that the point? Let the electronic herd go elsewhere.

Inutile? (Useless?)

(For non-AIESEC people who are not interested, don't bother reading this particular posr, it's all about AIESEC)

All of a sudden I feel rather useless.

Let me explain.

For the last 3 years in the organisation I have spent a lot of time thinking about how it runs, and come up with some very specific ideas on how it should be improved. I was never any good at making them a reality, because that's who I was, but they were very good ideas. Some of it was new, but most of it was a mix of international ideas, heavily pushed in Australia.

Now, all of a sudden, all these ideas have come true. PBoXes, mass marketing during recruitment, issues-based induction, Indian-style selection, etc. are ideas that have seized the Member Committee Mindset. I don't know if I had any role in this, you would have to look into the physical laws of causation to determine this, but all of a sudden it has left me feeling very USELESS.

The organisation now needs people who are going to drive these changes and make them a reality. That is not me, or at least that's how I've stereotyped myself. I can provide unlimited new ideas, but is that even needed anymore? I feel that once AIESEC Australia finishes this internal change process it has embarked upon, it will be near-perfect internally - from then on, it is merely a question of growth and activity. No massive ideas revolutions needed, especially on internal practices (which is my area of speciality).

I certainly don't feel a need to run for MCP anymore, and I am even questioning whether I should run for the MC. The organisation has certainly taken a step for the better, and perhaps I am part of the old, unselected generation, and should be left in the past accordingly.

Moving over to nomadlife.org

You can find my new blog at http://vinay.nomadlife.org

Peur et Courage (Fear and Courage)

The last 24 hours have been most interesting - not because of any events, just following my train of thought.

My committment to run for MCP has caused two reactions in me - one of extreme fear (thoughts of dying cause me no fear - it is fear of failure which seems to be my greatest fear), and the other of courage.

When occupied by fear, my mental voice says 'What the hell are you doing, committing to something you are not ready for? What if you win and you screw it all up? There are people better than you for the task. You're a dishonest jerk, how dare you commit to something like that when you know you can't do it. You're not only deceiving yourself, but deceiving the country.'

But then the other voice says, 'Well, no you've committed to this direction, there's no backing out, you may as well make yourself ready for it.' And it has already begun to push me in the right direction...while I am generally a person of self-analysis, I have never been one to quickly act on that self-analysis. Not only have I specified exactly what is holding me back, but I have started doing something about it...

I now know that I have certain fears which prevent me from achieving extraordinary things...they are listed below:
- Fear of physical exercise
- Fear of academic work
- Fear of planning and effective time management
- Fear of action/failure

AIESEC talk might call some of these things 'skills' or even 'competencies' (yes, I hate that word too), but I know these are areas that I have deeply rooted fears. I know how to do all of the things above, but yet I do not, making excuses not to do them. Why?

- Fear of physical exercise. I'm not lazy at all - I walk to university every day here, and that is a good 30 minute walk each way. The reason for that is that my stinginess in catching the bus easily outweighs any factors against it. As a consequence of this walking, and of eating very healthily, I am much fitter than I was when I left Sydney.

But I know I want to be a lot fitter still, through things like back stretches, situps, pushups, morning cycle rides, etc., but I can't bring myself to do this 'unnecessary' exercise (i.e. exercise for the sake of exercise, not for other objectives like getting to and from uni). Why? I have a fear that I won't keep it going; that I'll start and stop a day or two later. Why? I used to be very unfit when I was younger, and this has lead to a form of subconscious insecurity about my physical condition.

How to defeat this? Commands to action which override habit and fear (coming from the urgency of running for MCP in 10 months), and more importantly, continually imagining myself exercising a lot. The latter action will rewrite the recurring thoughts in my brain to something more positive than what's currently there.

- Fear of academic work. This is one of the most bizarre fears I have, yet one of the most easily explainable. It is bizarre because I used to be a very dedicated student. I would not think twice, or even once for that matter, before studying like crazy for an examination or test. This was before the days when I questioned the direction I was taking in life - my parents and my schools had drilled a mammoth academic work ethic into my brain, and it just seemed to be the way to go, no questions asked. Then in the final years of high school, I began to ask those questions...I began to question whether this kind of pure academia was the way to go. Without resolutions to these questions, doing academic work became increasingly difficult, but at the same time and pushing me the other way was the increasing proximity of the HSC (the final high school examinations in Year 12 in NSW). By Year 12 I was in no position to do any kind of academic work, yet I had no choice but to succeed beyond any successes I had in the past. I bowed to the pressure, and worked EXCEPTIONALLY hard...ripping my brain in half in the process. To give an often-cited example of my Year 12 work ethic, the 3 unit history project where we were required to study a number of sources on a particular historical subject. The most ambitious people would use 12-15 sources...I lost my mind and used 90.

I did well enough in Year 12, but since then my brain revulses when it comes to anything academic. This isn't healthy when you're studying law. AIESEC's massive practicality and use of mindless jargon confused me even further - is the 'practical way' the way to go? These questions, along with all other questions, continued to pile up without resolution. It's only in the last two months, since coming to France, that I've begun to find the answers I'm looking for.

How to defeat this fear? The same way as the fear above. I know that I will not be an effective MCP if I have this fear lingering in the back of my mind, even if I am not directly applying myself to academic work during the term. Being an effective leader requires a complete absence of fear - it is just something which cannot exist in our minds in any shape or form. So this urgency is pushing me to defeat this fear. I am using my imagination - imagining myself once again as the hardworking student I used to be, who loves knowledge, mind maps and deep thinking - to rewire my subconscious.

- Fear of planning/effective time management. This comes from ingrained habit...since I only ever had one true obsession in the past, academic work, time management simply was not a necessity. Time management becomes necessary when you have more than one thing which you are working on...which is most definitely the case now.

The solution is once again the same two as before. I guess a pattern is starting to emerge, yes? But without creating the urgency in my mind, change would be close to impossible.

- Fear of action/failure. Obviously part of my fear of action comes from a fear of failure, but a much stronger reason is my self-stereotype as a 'thinker', because of the fact that I used to be so academic. This has lead me to believe that not taking action is ok, because that is not my role. Rubbish. If I want to be an effective leader, action comes first on the list...time for a mental rewiring.

How do I know that it is possible to change our thinking? Because it has been done before by many great people...M.K. Gandhi was once a very shy man, believe it or not.

Also, because the human brain is essentially infinite, and to pessimistically impose limits on it is to be guilty of extreme ignorance. One neuron (brain cell) is capable of producing 2 possible states - 'on' or 'off', depending if there is a current flowing through it or not respectively. Two neurons are capable of producing 4 possible states based on the combinations 'on, on', 'on, off', 'off, on' and 'off, off'. The adult human brain has between 20 billion and 50 billion neurons. The number of possible states that exist is more than there are subatomic particles in the entire universe. In other words, unless we begin to find other universes, start living for 1000s of years and remember EVERYTHING that we have ever done, seen or read, then our minds are totally infinite.

La confirmation (The confirmation)

I know this is unusual, for me to post two days in a row, but I have come to a decision.

I will be running for MCP (Member Committee President) of AIESEC Australia at January National Conference 2007.

Am I ready? God no. That is why I've made the decision, and made it public, so backing out is that much harder now. I have now grounded it into reality that this is what I will be doing, and now am forced to spend the year ahead getting myself ready. I have no choice but to seek peace of mind, I have no choice but to negotiate with the university to permit me to defer and I have no choice but to make sure AIESEC in Aix-en-Provence is spectacular.

Even if I am not elected, I can see spectacular advantages in forcing myself to be ready to be an MCP - I have no choice but to succeed in my endeavours this year.

I really, really hope that we don't get into that terrible situation where only one candidate (me) is running. Even though there is a confidencing process, I have never heard of someone being non-confidenced. I would want to win the position because people have faith in me to do the job, not because I am the only candidate running.

And so the year REALLY begins, in earnest...